Stacy :

Starting out, my goal for jiu jitsu was to have a self-defense practice that is about mind as well as body. I care a lot about holistic wellness and wanted something that made sense with how I approach my yoga practice. In yoga, I practice mind-body integration. Mind-body integration is how I’ve gotten to know my body, including the ways it holds on to past trauma and how that trauma gets activated. I reached out to Ryann because I was worried that, in starting jiu jitsu, my somatic trauma triggers would be activated in a way that would overwhelm my brain and body’s capacity to learn what I needed to keep myself safe.

I am really glad I had lessons with Ryann before she left Colorado because I think overwhelm is exactly what would have happened if I started at a regular jiu jitsu gym. Ryann started slow and took time to get to know why I wanted to learn self-defense. She asked me specifically if I had any trauma triggers, anything that would come up in my body if I was touched or approached in a specific way. We worked slowly through the moves, taking time to breathe deep and regulate my nervous system when my body was in uncomfortable positions. Self-defense in general, and jiu jitsu specifically, is about keeping the mind present and aware when the body is compromised. However, in my limited experience, Ryann is the only instructor who teaches by starting with one’s own body.

In my current gym, jiu jitsu is taught is with the focus on the opponent and what you can do to manipulate their body. This approach seems to work great for some of my classmates who are ready to get in there, but it’s not how I learn. Ryann started me with the basics. How to stand up when someone pushes you down. How to free your arm when someone grabs your wrist. In addition to more complex moves, we practiced the basics over and over. Although some may think this very boring, I found it immeasurably helpful in getting to know my body in a new way. By asking check-in questions, Ryann taught me how to keep tabs on what my body was up to and advocate for myself when I needed to slow down.

Knowing how to advocate for my nervous system’s needs makes it possible for me to continue learning jiu jitsu at my current gym. If I get overstimulated, I step away. If my partner is being more aggressive than they need as we’re practicing the move, I tell them I need them to slow down. And I remind them to tell me the same. My current gym doesn’t have a cooldown practice, but Ryann taught me how to create my own and I do it after every class. Today, I even invited a peer to join me because she was feeling overwhelmed. She said she really appreciated it. Having a  supportive community matters a lot to me. My work with Ryann helped me find a way to be in the jiu jitsu community that feels good for me. My current instructors may not teach how Ryann did, but, because of Ryann, I know how to approach what they offer with an integrated mind and body.